Relationships and friendships are the primary source of happiness for girls and young women, according to Plan UK’s newest State of Girls Rights Report.
But when girls struggle with navigating friendships, it can negatively impact their mental health and wellbeing.
Not just in childhood, but throughout their lives.
Our friendships in childhood help create blueprints for the relationships we have later in life, because our childhood friendships pave the way for more than adult friendships.
They also shape our romantic relationships, and our professional relationships too.
To put it simply, childhood friendships are deeply important for all children.
But this is especially true for girls.
Over the last three terms, we’ve been supporting girls with Navigating Friendships, through our core programme sessions and activities.
There’s plenty of evidence to support good friendships as an important part of children’s wellbeing, but that isn’t the only reason we’ve spent so much time focussing on it. We chose navigating friendships because girls told us that’s what they needed support with, in our 2023 focus groups.
We’ve been building on the skills girls have learned from term to term, while still ensuring core programme sessions benefit girls who are new to GFS too.
The skills girls are learning are all ones that will allow them to manage some of the friendship difficulties they may face with a greater understanding of their own behaviours, and increased empathy for others.
“We have a girl who has been really struggling with a friendship triangle at school. We talked it through and gave her some pointers and reminded her that it was okay to set her own boundaries with friends… She came in the following week and told us that she’d had a chat with the girls at school and was finding it easier.” – GFS Eldon
At the end of each term, we look back and ask girls and their Group Leaders how we did.
“We had a boxing session a few weeks ago and one of the girls struggled to build friendships and stood by herself. One of the other girls in the group went over to her and asked if she wanted to be her partner for the boxing activity.” – GFS South Manchester
100% of group leaders were able to share examples of times when girls showed kindness to themselves and to others.
“We used the starter with the shoe game (girls drew round their feet, decorated and cut out rather than swap actual shoes) to focus on getting to know one another better and did lots of team building games. I think it helped develop their friendships across the age range and gave the younger ones the chance to be involved alongside the older girls.” – GFS Chester-le-Street
88% of group leaders observed girls recognising that each of us needs and gives different things with different friends. This ability helps us maintain more than one friendship, because all friends are different people, with different needs and ways we communicate.
“Girls recognised that we all want different things in a friendship and that is fine. The girls got into pairs to talk about what they want in a friend and looked at things they both wanted as well as the things they both didn’t want.” – GFS Smethwick
88% of group leaders observed that girls understood the things that make others feel better or worse.
In Pittington, girls talked about what would cheer someone up who’s sitting on their own, and girls said the person may be sitting alone on purpose.
Girls said it was important to ask if the person alone wanted company, rather than assuming they did.
While 88% of group leaders also observed girls giving and accepting apologies.
At Leytonstone, girls resolved conflicts independently by using their quiet corner as a safe space.
In fact, the quiet corner at Leytonstone is a great example of group innovations to meet girls’ needs.
The idea for it came from group, as an answer girls’ asking what we can do to help build connections and friendships.
It means girls have a safe space to make friends, but also are able to take a few minutes out if they feel overwhelmed. Meanwhile at Eldon, girls had lots of big conversations on giving and accepting apologies, which they put into practice whenever needed.
“We had a situation where one of the girls wasn’t nice to another and we had a big conversation around it. She then apologised off her own back the following week, which was huge for her!” – GFS Eldon
Group leaders and girls alike have noticed progress with friendships, both inside and outside of group.
Group leaders have reported girls handling conflicts and addressing their issues and friendship difficulties, including in regards to difficult topics like bullying.
“Although the girls still have their differences, I have noticed that they work better together. They celebrate each other more and they are kinder and nicer to each other as a result. The girls have started to recognise what makes a good friend and how they can be that good friend. This has really helped them to come together as a team.” – GFS Townhill
The Navigating Friendships core programme includes a range of activities, including crafts, discussion, games and active play.
All groups found activities their girls enjoyed, and most group leaders felt that girls got something positive out of sessions.
As with previous terms, the activities girls engaged most with continued to differ from group to group, across ages and ability levels.
We know this remains a challenge, but we encourage Group Leaders to adapt the activities to suit the needs of their individual girls, as they are best suited to know what their girls need.
We feel confident about the difference GFS groups can make in girls lives, and in their friendships. We look forward to learning and sharing more about our impact.
